“You think you’re so tough?”
If you’re like most guys, you think being strong and resilient is being able to handle stressful situations with as little reaction as possible. You know, not letting the situation bother you — an ability to let things roll off your back. In most cases, an ability to not freak out at the slightest provocation is a good thing. But doing this all day, every day is definitely not a healthy way to be.
Wired for Stress?
Your brain is brilliant at being able to detect danger and it has a pre-conscious ability to predict when a potential danger might happen again. But sometimes this danger detection system can get in our way. If we’re constantly running danger detection programs in the back of our minds, this can steal energy and focus away from the present. And the present is the only place we’re actually able to have an impact.
Imagine you’re driving in stop-and-go traffic. You’re going to be late to your appointment, and you have a yapping dog running back and forth across the backseat. Or imagine you’re re-wiring your vintage motorcycle while hornets buzz around your head. It’s going to be really difficult to focus and get the job done right. You might rear-end the car in front of you because you’re looking in the rear view mirror too much. Or you might blow a few fuses because you cross-wired the turn signals. There’s a term for when thoughts or fears keep buzzing around your head and are at odds with how you want to feel. It’s called cognitive dissonance. It’s very common. We all do it. But we’re in luck. There are simple and easy practices we can do at will to keep this dissonance at bay.
Rewire for True Strength
For the past few years I’ve been working with a couple of ways to get real strength and resiliency, an ability to change the distractions that keep me from being my best rather than simply ignoring them or keeping them at bay. One of the practices is Neurosculpting®, a simple five-step process that calms down the part of my mind that is focusing on the distraction, while fortifying my focus in the direction I want to go. I also practice TRE®. It allows me to release pent-up stress, and unwinds my habitual patterns of reaction, leaving me free to choose – in the moment – the best course of action. They both quiet down the yapping dog and buzzing hornets so I can get to work. When I’m able to focus on the present and do what needs to be done, I’m in the strongest, most effective position possible. That’s what most of us want anyway, isn’t it? We want to be helpful and effective, to lift ourselves and others up. But we can’t be all that if our focus is on weathering a storm of distractions made up of disappointments, missed opportunities, frustrating relationships, and on and on.
I not only use Neurosculpting® and TRE® in my own life, but I teach these practices to others too. What I love about them is they are tools anyone can do on their own. Check out the classes page for info on upcoming events.
True strength is an ability to own your thoughts and how you show up in the world. It’s an ability to get out of your own way and become the person you want to be. It’s time to stop doing battle with stuff that keeps you from moving forward and free up energy to move you towards the stuff you do want. You owe it to yourself to be the best you possible. When you’re strong and capable and present to what’s going on around you, everyone in your life benefits.